Writing Sample 6

Plan

Orientation: Coach, Sam, Summers day, Dirtbikes.

Body: Course, Fear, Excitement, Bump, Dirt track.

Final Comment: As Sam is off the ground I say to myself “People are very good at sport and they are also brave. People also are very clever at the history of dirtbikes.

I’m ready to ride my dirtbike. I can see Sam riding his bike under the sun very calm and cool while his coach is cheering him on the sideline.

As he rides I start to panic because he has hit a bump. While he goes off the ground I can hear his coach on the sideline saying “Keep on going you can do it.” “I wonder if I can do that” I say to myself. “Whoa”. I can hear his bike going Broom!! Broom!!. While he is still in the air I say to myself “I wonder if he is feeling proud, sad, excited or scared.”

As Sam is off the ground I say to myself “People are very good at sport and they are also brave. People also are very clever at the history of dirtbikes.

Writing Sample 5

Plan

Orientation: Dusk, Marae, Tangata Whenua, Manuhiri, Powhiri.

Body: Powhiri, Speeches, Waharoa.

Final comment: As I look at the dusk sky I say to myself “A powhiri is very special to the Maori people because it is very respectful.”

“Where am I.” I look around to try and figure out where i am. Then I suddenly figure out I am at a marae and the sky is dusk.

Then I figure out I am one the Tangata Whenua. As I look at the Manuhiri I hear one of the Tangata Whenua say a speech. As I look at them I see them bowing their heads in respect for the ancestors of the Te Tahawai Marae. I wonder what the ancestors would think about the Manuhiri.

As I look at the dusk sky I say to myself “A powhiri is very special to the Maori people because it is very respectful.”

By Remuel

Sand Castle

Plan

Orientation: Sunny day, Uncle Ve’a and Me, Building sand castles, Having fun.

Body: Building Sand Castles, Wet sand, sea washing the sand of my feet, Hot sun.

Final Comment: Kids these days are very clever at using their imagination.

Orientation:

As I walk alongside the beach I can see the sun shining upon a little boy and my uncle Ve’a.

Body:

As they start to build the sand castle I can feel the nice clean water washing the wet sand of my feet. As they put the sand into the yellow the bucket I say to myself “ I hope the tide won’t wash away their sand castle when it come backs in”.

Final comment:

As I look at them building the sand castle I say to myself “Kids these days are very clever at using their imagination”. If they didn't use their imagination what would they do with it?

Writing Sample 3

Plan

Orientation: At school, Teacher and Student, Morning, Science. Body: Science, Teaching Jess, Experiment. Conclusion: Children these days are very smart and clever.

1 Its Tuesday and I am school in my science class. “Hello Jess and Jane” I say to them. “Hi Remy”.

2 As I go closer to them I can smell something. It smells like Gas and smoke. As I look at the experiment that they are working on I can see it starting to foam up. Then I start getting worried because it might explode everywhere. “Do you want to have a try at putting some liquid in to it Remy”. “Maybe”. As Jane gives the liquid to me my heart starts to beat fast. As I pour the liquid into the jug I start to calm down because nothing is happening its only foaming up.

3 As I pour the rest of the liquid in I say to the others “Children these days are very smart and clever and some are learning very fast.

Writing Sample 2

Plan

Orientation: Neighbours, Inside neighbours house, Playing outside, Afternoon, Homework, Helping Son do his Homework.

Body: Silky Green Couch, Thinking Seriously, Dusk Sky.

Conclusion: As I look at the beautiful dusk sky I wonder if Max will help his son with his homework or will he let him do it himself.

Its a nice warm afternoon and I am outside playing. As I am playing I hear someone say “Listen Carefully”. Suddenly I realise its the next door neighbours.

As I go to look through the window I feel the warmth of the Sun shining upon me. When I look through the window I see Max with his Father John sitting on a green silky couch. John is helping Max do his homework. “Nine times eight = what?” says John to Max. “It = 72” says Max. As John is explaining how you solve a maths problem I look at Max. While I was looking at Max he was listening carefully and seriously.

As I look at the beautiful dusk sky I wonder if Max will help his son with his homework or will he let him do it himself.

Writing Sample 1

Plan

Orientation: My uncle Ve’a and, my uncle Greg, Park, Afternoon, fresh air.

Body: Dusk sky, breeze, soccer career, famous, great player

Conclusion: Great and Famous soccer career, Fifa World Cup Fan

Its a nice warm day at the park. Suddenly i hear uncle Greg say to uncle Ve’a “Gee you are a great player”.

As I walk to try and find them I shiver because I feel the cold breeze brushing  against my face. As I get closer and closer I wonder why Greg said “Gee you are a great player”. Then I realise there talking about soccer. Finally I find them sitting on a bright orange bench under trees that look like trees in a jungle. “Hi Remy” says Greg. We are just talking about Ve’a if he wants to get a soccer career. “Who is your favourite soccer player”. “My Favourite soccer player is Lionel Messi”.”My favourite soccer player is Alexis Sanchez” I say to them. “Both of them are in Barcelona” says Ve’a.

As I look up at the fine dusk sky I say to myself “Gee I wonder if Ve’a will have a famous and great soccer career when he grows up or will he be normal person but a big soccer fan that goes to every Fifa World Cup”.

The Turtle and the shark

The Turtle and the Shark

Long ago there lived a lady and a man who where very much in love living on the island of Savai’i. One day the man was called away to attend a high chiefs meeting and the young lady decided to go with him. Instead they went to the island of Tutuila, American Samoa, where they stayed with some friendly villagers. After a time they knew that their disappearance would be noticed and therefore their lives together would be short lived. So they decided to give up their lives by jumping off a cliff in exchange for the lives of their families. The Gods took pity on them and they were changed into a Turtle and a Shark so that they can live for eternity.